Friday, June 30, 2006

Burning up about the flag

Well, the ninnies in Congress almost did it, coming one Senator short of sending an amendment to the Constitution to the state legislatures that would have made it illegal, nay un-Constitutional!, to burn an American flag. While I am heartily opposed to the action of flag-burning myself, I think this is the stupidest suggestion for an amendment since...well, actually, it's only been a few months since the last absurd idea for altering the greatest document in governmental history in order to score points with a certain voting bloc.

Anyway, I post this because Scott Adams, author of the Dilbert comics, made a great post in The Dilbert Blog today. Here's a taste:

"I was delighted to learn that American politicians are trying to make it illegal to burn the American flag. That can only mean that my dedicated public servants have finally solved the problems of crime, drugs, war, poverty, terrorism, healthcare, immigration, and the mystery of why our children are such idiots compared to Norwegians. Evidently those issues are now under control. I was starting to worry that Congress was wasting my tax dollars doing stupid s..."

I cut that quotation off either three or four letters short. To find out which, you'll have to click the link above and read the post for yourself. It's a very good read; it even includes a funny dig at Rhode Island. Enjoy!

Thursday, June 29, 2006

Quotable

"The interesting thing about [Thabo] Sefolosha is that he is known by some as the best defensive player in Europe, which is like being declared the thick side of Adam Morrison's mustache."

Dan Wetzel, in his post-NBA draft column. (If you don't get the joke, click here.)

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

WHAMMY!

I was playing Ultimate last night, and I got hit harder than I've ever been hit before. Yes, that's right: all those years playing real sports, and I had to take up a hippie game in order to get leveled. At least it's the athletic hippie game. It'd have been pretty embarrassing to get smacked down playing, say, disc golf or something.

I was on defense marking the handler, which is Ultimate-speak for "guarding the dude with the disc." By the way, we don't call it a Frisbee. Why? For the same reason basketball players do not refer to their ball as a "Wilson." Anyway, said dude was almost as tall as me, say 6'3" or so, but he had a good 25 pounds on me. That'd put him around 250, if you must know.

It turns out that extra 25 pounds is probably in his right forearm. Because when he let fly with a hard backhand throw and caught me across my mouth, it literally swept me off my feet. And not in a romantic way. (That wouldn't be literal, now would it?) In a "my shoulder blades hit the ground before my ass did" way. And if you did the quick math above, you know I am not a tiny person. WHAMMY!

Fortunately, he caught me in the perfect spot not to injure me. An inch higher, and my nose would have been broken. Four or five inches higher, and I might have been unconscious. As it was, I sprung right back up and had only a fat lip. He was deeply apologetic and amazed I wasn't hurt.

I'm happy to say the pass resulted in a turnover. And we went on to win the game, so I got scoreboard.

Monday, June 26, 2006

Capital campaign

Okay, I've gone back and forth on this a few times over the years, and I am contemplating another switch. I want some feedback: Should I use standard capitalization in instant message chats?

right now, my IM chats look a little like this paragraph. i use proper punctuation, and i don't use the chatty abbreviations (lol, rofl, etc.), so it's not as if i'm totally abandoning good english. it's just that i don't capitalize much of anything. that's pretty much the way 95% of people operate on instant messenger. also, to be honest, and i mean no offense to my three friends who do this, but it strikes me as slightly...snobbish? when people use correct capitalization in chat.

Yet the fact is, I am a bit of a grammar snob, so it would not be totally out of character for me to go back to hitting "shift" once in a while on IM. (And you can bet that on the rare occasion when I have chatted with a professor or other academic figure, I have made that change on the fly.) Strangely enough, I find it annoying when I get emails with all lower case letters, so I must be just some kind of illogical, irritable freak when it comes to this sort of thing.

My question for you, then, is this: based on what you know of me, am I an IM capitalizer, or not? I'll let the majority opinion within the comments decide.

At least for a while.

Sunday, June 25, 2006

An NBA funny

From Zembla (via Deadspin), a transcript of the voicemail messages that awaited Shandon Anderson, a role playing backup point guard, after "he" won an NBA championship with the Miami Heat.

I especially like the LOTR reference.

Friday, June 23, 2006

The joy of being an Orioles fan

I'm actually not an Orioles fan, but I can imagine the joy of being one after this brilliant move:

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Ultimate freedom

While browsing The Internet Disc Shoppe, I came across this great looking Ultimate disc:



Turns out the disc is put out by the people at the Free State Project, which is a non-partisan "effort to recruit 20,000 liberty-loving people to move to New Hampshire." I love New Hampshire, and I love the libertarian leanings of this organization, whose intent is "the creation of a society in which the maximum role of civil government is the protection of life, liberty, and property." If nearly my entire life were not happily committed to Rochester, I would sign on as one of the 20,000 in a flash. Seeing as how I drive a Subaru, I'd fit right in. But I guess I'll stay here and live with the absurd taxation instead.

I think I'll go buy that Ultimate disc, though.

DRM dreams

John Gruber at Daring Fireball on why the RIAA, in addition to sucking, is just plain stupid: "Record industry executives refuse to believe what is patently obvious to anyone with a clue--they are never ever going to regain complete control over the distribution of recorded music. They so desperately want this that they believe it must be possible, but the very nature of DRM is that it is diametrically opposed to interoperability."

The whole article, which is not very long, is worth a read for anyone who is interested in digital music and the record industry's resistance to reasonable use by their customers, or anyone who believes the fairy tale that Apple is ruining music by not licensing their format to other companies.

Monday, June 19, 2006

System-wide iPhoto browser

For the past couple months, I've been using this idea from macOSXhints.com, and I thought I'd pass it on. It uses Automator (and if you're not familiar with Automator, it is a great tool, so click that link) to give you quick and easy access to your iPhoto library without opening iPhoto itself. If you've ever used the "Media Browser" in an application such as Pages and wished you could use it in, say, Keynote or TextEdit or Mail, this technique will allow you to do that.

I'd never used Automator before, but this looked super easy, so I figured I'd try it. Here is how to do it. I'm giving you a slight variation that I saw in one of the comments on the post.

1. Open Automator.
2. Click iPhoto.
3. From the list of actions, select Ask for Photos.
4. Drag it to the right-hand pane.
5. Choose "Save As..." from the file menu, and make the file format "Application." I saved it to my desktop for easy access, but you can put it anywhere.

I hope this inspires you to try Automator, because it truly is an amazing and powerful tool, one of those things that makes OS X really excellent. Or it would, if anyone knew it existed. (You could also try Googling for "best Automator workflows" to get some more ideas.) Enjoy!

Saturday, June 17, 2006

Quotable

"There are two kinds of referees: bad ones, and worse ones. And that was the worst one we've seen...Players win games, coaches lose them, and referees ruin them."

--Eric Wynalda, former US National Team member and current ABC studio commentator, after three red cards were handed out in the World Cup match between the US and Italy.

PS: Congratulations to the US Soccer Team for holding the 1-1 tie Italy handed them by scoring an own goal, in spite of being two men down for most of the second half.

Come see me at Artisan

Hi friends. I wanted to let you know that I'll be giving a talk at Artisan Church tomorrow. I'll be giving the intial message from our next six-week series, which will all be services focused on stories about Jesus.

Consider this your invitation to join us. It's a friendly bunch! The service starts at 5:00 p.m., and there are clear directions to be found on the website. Stop by if you are in the area.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Tendosynovitis

Yesterday I finally went to see the doctor, after a few months of chronic pain in my left wrist. Her diagnosis was that my guitar posture had caused tendosynovitis, which is similar ehough to tendonitis that I won't explain the diffrence here. If you want to know more, this Medinfo page is pretty good.

Here is the extremely fun treatment plan:

  • A one-month course of Naproxin, a twice-per-day prescription anti-inflammatory drug.

  • Wearing a wrist splint that makes me look like one of those bowlers who is way too into bowling. The good news here is that I can already tell the difference, especially in the morning. Apparently I sleep with my head in my left hand, causing it to bend uncomfortably.

  • Physical therapy, which I haven't started yet.

  • And the real kick in the crotch, no playing guitar. This will probably last at least the whole month I am on the Naproxin.


My hope is that if I obey the doctor and follow this treatment plan as closely as possible, it will knock the inflammation completely out of my wrist, and I'll be able to play and be pain-free again. I sure hope so, because it's a pretty annoying treatment plan. Of course, then I will need to do the work of figuring out why my playing posture causes inflammation in my wrist. But I'll take that as it comes.

For now, I guess I'll have to blow the dust off my saxophone. And that's not a bad thing, I suppose.

My talk at Artisan: The Origins of the Bible

[Note: This post is really long, so you may be tempted to skip it. Feel free to do so, but don't miss a shorter and probably more interesting post just before it. I posted it only a few hours earlier, so unless you read my blog via an RSS feed, you may not have seen it.]

On May 28, I preached a sermon at Artisan Church. I actually don't prefer to use the terms "preach" and "sermon," because I think they hold too many negative connotations. I prefer to use the phrase "I gave a talk," because I think it's less intimidating and more accurate to my style anyway. The talk was part of a series that explores the themes raised by The Da Vinci Code, which is not an attempt by our church to debunk the book/movie or to get into a defensive posture about its claims about the history of Christianity; rather, it is an attempt by our church to engage the themes the book and movie raise. Specifically, our series addresses the themes of who Jesus is, where the Bible came from, how women have at times been marginalized in the church, and what the nature of the church is.

My talk was the second in the series, and it dealt with the Bible. I don't speak from a manuscript, but I've adapted the talk to written form and posted it below. Meanwhile, if you'd like to listen to the audio of the talk, be warned that it is an uncharacteristically long 47 minutes long. If you're crazy enough to want to sit still for that long, you can hear it in mp3 format here, or you can subscribe to the Artisan Church podcast, which will give you access to tons of other great content and the freedom to sew a quilt or something while you listen. Also, I'll insert a few of the presentation slides into the text below, but if you just want to go straight to the picture book version, click here. Before I go to the summary of the talk, here is that week's worship meditation, provided by my favorite dead saint, Gregory of Nazianzus (329 - 389 A.D.):

"Lord, as I read the psalms, let me hear you singing.
As I read your words, let me hear you speaking.
As I reflect on each page, let me see your image.
And as I seek to put your precepts into practice, let my heart be filled with joy."

* * * * * * * * * *

I'd like to begin by posing a question: Of what use is the Bible? Literally, what is the Bible used for?

Is it a science textbook? One that tells us that the earth is not, in fact, 4.5 billion years old, but is in fact about 8,000 years old?

Is it a rulebook for life? One that is especially useful when evaluating others who violate the rules, and not ourselves?

Is it a history textbook? One that specializes in ancient Middle Eastern history?

Is it a tool for propaganda and mind control? Something that the church devised as a way to control people's access to the " true" version of the story?

Or is it something else altogether?

Careful readers will notice the bold on that last point and will assume correctly that it is the view I hold, the angle I hope to take on this topic. I firmly believe that the Bible is an indispensable resource for spiritual formation and development that we have available to us, and it is important that we approach it and use it in an appropriate way. I will say more about that in the second half of this presentation, but first I would like to give a bit of history about where we got the Bible, and in the process discuss how accurate the claims of the Da Vinci Code really are or are not. I'll begin by suggesting some factors we consider when we evaluate the Bible as a source.

First, it is good for us to remember that the majority of Christians throughout history never owned a printed Bible. The very earliest Christians, of course, received the story of Jesus as an oral tradition. Even though this oral tradition became a written record rather quickly, it was not until many centuries later that books became widely available at an affordable price. For a long time, the only copies of the sacred texts of Christianity were only available in libraries and scriptoriums, where only the privileged few had easy access to them. It was the 15th century before the invention of the printing press made mass production of printed materials affordable. Even today, Christians in certain parts of the world thrive in their faith without ever owning a physical copy of the Bible.

Second, we would do well to remember that this is a translated work. This is not as significant a factor as some people assume, because every new translation goes back to the original languages (Hebrew and Greek). There is a misconception that each new translation of the Bible is merely an update to contemporary parlance, based on the previous translation. This is false. Yet what we read in the Bible is a translation, so there are some challenges in interpretation that we must face.

Third, remember that the Bible contains numerous literary forms. Some of the Bible is meant to be taken as literal fact, and some of it relies on liberal use of figurative language to make its point. The Bible contains poetry, song, allegory, dreams, visions, histories, and more; it was written across a span of centuries by a number of authors. If we force ourselves to treat all these different works the same, we will miss the point in a big way.

Fourth, we should keep in mind that the 66 books of the Bible that Protestants recognize today was not assembled for the first time until 367 A.D., and even that was not an officially sanctioned list.

None of this is an attempt to shatter anyone's trust in the Bible. As I said at the outset, I believe the Bible is an indispensable resource; in fact, I believe it is the most important tool we possess in understanding God's revelation to us. I do not believe that looking realistically at its history makes it any less valuable.

Let's take a moment and look at the claims Leigh Teabing makes about the Bible in The Da Vinci Code. And please note that I used the name of the character in the novel, not the author of the novel. That's what DVC (let's just go with the abbreviation from here on out, shall we?) is, a novel. It is a work of fiction, and it should be treated as such. There is no need to march to Dan Brown's house with pitchforks because a few characters in his novel make wild assertions about the history of Christianity.

That said, the claims Sir Leigh makes in DVC are pure crap. Complete, utter nonsense. More than 80 gospels written? Not even close. The earliest gospels (the ones that contain the "truth" about Jesus and Mary Magdalene) were suppressed? Nope. The church got together at the Council of Nicea in 325 to blot out the Gospel of Thomas? Uh-uh. None of this even remotely bears out in the historical record. And the line that many Christians are offended by, that the four gospels in our Bible are full of "discrepancies and fabrications" is something worth talking about, but however fitting that accusation is when it comes to the canonical gospels, it is several times more appropriate with respect to the gospels Teabing advances as alternatives.

So how did we come to have the Bible as it now exists? Why were certain texts rejected and others embraced? The process looked something like this:

The early Christians, nearly all of them devout Jews, began with the Hebrew Bible. The books of what we now call the "Old Testament" were the ones these early believers used as scripture. As the story of Jesus was given by word of mouth, this oral tradition came to be a sacred part of the story of salvation. And as the Christian apostles and teachers began writing about the faith, the church added certain texts to the canon according to a few simple guidelines.

1. Apostolicity. In addition to being a cool-sounding word, apostolicity is an easy litmus test. If a text was written by an apostle or someone directly connected to an apostle, it passed. Gospel of John? Check. Paul's letters to his churches? Check. Gospel of Mark? Check, because Mark traveled with Paul.

2. Widespread Liturgical Use. In order to pass this test, a text must have been regularly used during public worship. It was important not only that the text had been read in worship, but that it had been read in churches in every region of the church. This prevented the inclusion of documents that supported someone's "pet" doctrine because only texts that were universally accepted made it into the canon.

3. Conformity to the "Rule of Faith." Here is where the intersection of oral tradition and written records is found. By the time of the formulation of the canon, the Christians had already established a standard for orthodoxy. Only texts that conformed to this already accepted rule would make it into the Bible. This is in contrast to the view from within DVC and from some other skeptical voices is that the opposite was true, that orthodoxy was determined by the books the church selected. Not so.

Paul's second letter to the church in Thessalonica contains a concise sentence that reveals some of these guidelines: He writes, "So then, brothers and sisters, stand firm and hold fast to the traditions that you were taught by us, either by word of mouth or by our letter" (2 Thessalonians 2:15).

At this point in the sermon, I spoke for a few minutes about the reliability of the New Testament documents as compared to other ancient texts, such as the writings of Plato, Caesar's histories, and Homer's Iliad. I even had a fancy little chart titled "Grading the Text." I won't spend any space recapping this section here, except to say that the New Testament documents are remarkably reliable sources when it comes to the likelihood of the accuracy of the copies we have when compared to the original document. If you want to look at the chart, it's linked here.

* * * * * * * *

In a sense, all of this heady stuff was just background for the "real sermon," which was yet to come. I wanted to lay the groundwork for looking at the Bible as a good source for spiritual formation and growth. As I have mentioned, I believe the Bible is the single most important source we have, and it is helpful to know where it came from if we are expected to trust it.

Lately, I have been watching Mister Rogers' Neighborhood a lot. My son Abel happens to love it, but I have to admit I still like it too. I really like watching it with him. Our favorite part is always "Picture-Picture," where Mr. McFeely brings by a videocassette (or film reel, if it's a very old episode) and they watch it together. It's usually something about how toys are made, or where we get apple juice from. Ever since I was a kid, this kind of thing has interested me. I mention this in order to introduce the central idea of my sermon on scripture. It's a bit of a play on words, because I want to show you two pictures side by side and have you think about the ways we can approach scripture, using each image as a guide.

Here are the pictures:



On the left is a coal mine, and on the right is a cornfield. Stay with me, now; I know this is a little weird. I find it very helpful to play with metaphors, so let's think about the differences between mining coal and growing corn. Some of this may have no bearing on the topic whatsoever. That's okay. I still think it is worth trying to extend these metaphors.

Clothing: A coal miner wears goggles, a mask, a hardhat, a leather apron. A farmer wears a flannel shirt, blue jeans, and work gloves.

Goal: When mining coal, the goal is to remove something for our use. When growing corn, the goal is to tend a living plant and make it grow.

Product: In coal mining, the product is energy, power. In agriculture, the product is nourishing food and perhaps even beautiful flowers.

Resource consumption: Coal is non-renewable; crops are renewable.

X-Factor: We know that coal mining produces toxic fumes that can damage the ecosystem and do serious harm to the miner.

So the question is this: When you approach scripture, are you more like a coal miner or a farmer?

Do you want to remove some nugget of truth for your own use? Do you hope to gain some special knowledge that will give you power? Perhaps you seek power to win a theological debate, or perhaps you hope to find a verse that will support your desire to suppress a person or people group.

Or do you approach scripture in the hope that God will plant a seed in your heart, a seed that can grow and provide nourishment for a healthy spiritual life?

I worry that many times, we come to the Bible wearing our goggles and mask, and we want to dominate it, strip it of its power. I present these two images as a way to demonstrate that problem and in order to present an alternative. I believe the Bible is God's word, as trite as that phrase may have become to many ears. I do not believe it is a dead, finite source for power and domination. Instead, I believe it is an organic, renewable resource for spiritual nutrition. But we must be willing to treat it properly. One who tries to mine corn as if it were coal will kill the corn and be left with useless dead matter.

In closing, I quote the words of Moses as he ushered the Israelite people into the promised land. In Deuteronomy 11:18-21, he advises the people in the way they should treat the word of God:

"You shall put these words of mine in your heart and soul, and you shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and fix them as an emblem on your forehead. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you are at home and when you are away, when you lie down and when you rise. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates, so that your days and the days of your children may be multiplied in the land that the Lord swore to your ancestors to give them, as long as the heavens are above the earth."

Update: I found this quotation today over at Thinklings, and I thought it fit this theme nicely, so I'm repeating it here:

"When I got my first taste of significance and acceptance through spiritual knowledge, the desperate need for alcohol and clothes receded...a little. I cut a whole week of classes at UNC to underline my New Testament so as to be even more familiar and impressive with my new drug of choice....After becoming a Christian, I became a forgiven idolater, and then added biblical and theological knowledge to my list of substances to abuse....It’s amazing what one can do with a wounded and deceitful heart, a stockpile of theological knowledge, and a rather quick mind. It proved to be the most effective and deadly idol structure of any I had created. I succeeded--until recent years--to get comfort, significance, acceptance, a painless heart, and control through what I know rather than a shalom that passes all understanding through whom I know. The saddest part is, many times I didn’t know the difference."

– Scotty Smith, The Reign of Grace

Monday, June 12, 2006

The best Pixar film yet



The family went to see Cars on Saturday, and boy is it great. I am of the opinion that everything Pixar has ever touched has turned to gold (you know, good CEO and all...), and I do think this is the best one I've seen. You may assume that I am saying this because I love auto racing in all its forms. On the contrary, I despise auto racing in all its forms. I would rather watch the World's Strongest Man competition, tape-delayed from Sweden and without English commentary, than a NASCAR race. So it's not that.

Some of the selling points:

1. The visual art is taken to a new level. Gorgeous landscapes, incredible close detail, great views of the stadium, and an awesome throwback main street chock full of neon signs.

2. The soundtrack is highly enjoyable. (Check it out on iTunes or at Amazon.) The best possible news I can give you regarding the soundtrack is that Randy Newman's voice is heard nowhere in the film. Instead, James Taylor sings the requisite sappy number at the epiphany, and it works out great. Randy Newman did write the score, which passed the Scott Austin Score Test ® by not making me go "What the hell is with this score?" Other highlights include two very solid covers: John Mayer banging out a bluesy "Route 66" and Rascal Flatts twanging up Tom Cochrane's "Life is a Highway." (But only ever so slightly, and with some nice fat guitar tone to support it.)

3. Another fun Pixar short at the beginning, called "One Man Band," which is also available from iTunes.

4. Maybe the best ending credits gag yet, especially if you like John Ratzenberger's voice work. The only problem with this is that it began at exactly the time "Route 66" hit the break for John Mayer's guitar solo. And we don't really listen to John Mayer for his voice, now do we? I mean, those of us who aren't 12-year old girls don't.

5. Cars is the perfect balance of a compelling story and likable characters. The plot was engaging and entertaining without being silly or sappy, and there was not one dud among any of the major characters. There was at least one moment that gave me a big smile, which is different from a big laugh, in case you were wondering. I was truly drawn in by the nostalgia of the motif, with the small town on Route 66 being forgotten after the interstate highway zipped past it.

As a point of reference, here are the Pixar films in order from best to least best according to my opinion:

Cars
Toy Story
Monsters, Inc.
The Incredibles
Finding Nemo
Toy Story 2 (tie)
A Bug's Life (tie)

They're all really good, even their weakest offering. And Ratatouille looks promising too!

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Above the line

If you are a church leader or are otherwise interested in the emerging church movement and the controversy that seems to surround it, I recommend you read this article by Brian McLaren. It will take up about twenty minutes of your time, but it will be twenty minutes filled with good sense about not allowing ourselves to be polarized unnecessarily:

"To summarize, all of these nine items are really just varied ways of saying the same thing: it's easy to react to problems to your south or east, and in so doing, back into problems to your north or west. Rather than being reactionary on the line, we need to find solutions above the line, so we can transcend facile, binary, poorly-framed polarities. That's where Jesus keeps going, as I read the gospels, and so should we."

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Ten-second thoughts, cranky edition

I'm almost done with a nice, long post that should help alleviate any boredom shortage you may be experiencing. I've got some other pressing projects to take care of first, but look for that by the end of the week. Unless I have another car accident between now and then.

In the meantime, here are some ten-second thoughts to tide you over. It's been kind of a lousy week so far, and it's only Tuesday, so this edition of TST should be chock-full of cynicism and hilarious angst. (Either that or it will be a little pathetic. Let's find out!)

1. In quantifying how annoying a Rochester 20something girl's voice is, this handy rule applies: the fake-tanner the girl, the more likely to make you wish you were hearing something more pleasant, such as Elmo singing Ricky Martin covers.

2. Isn't it cool that Santoku and Soduku became super-trendy at about the same time? (I'm firmly in the Santoku camp, by the way.)

3. A fake-tan Rochester girl walked past us tonight and actually said (and it would help if you read this aloud), "That was so weird. It was totally, like, unlike me!" This made me want to learn how to turn into a bear, so I could maul myself.

4. Okay, so that one might have taken 15 seconds. You'll get your time back soon, I promise.

5. "Tipping point": it's the new "paradigm shift." Using this phrase definitely makes you appear more clever than everyone else. Really, keep using it. I'm serious, you're awesome.

6. (Not really.)

7. Most of my son's frustrating behavior (not that there is much just yet) he learned from a bald-headed animated French Canadian boy. Thanks a bunch, PBS.

8. I overheard someone answer his cell phone with, "City morgue, you kill'em; we chill'em!" Who does this? Who thinks this is funny?

9. I think it would be best if we stopped now.