OK, I need to take this opportunity to get some things off my chest. I work at a nice independent cafe in the arts district of Rochester. We tend to attract normal coffeeshop clients: college students, local nine-to-fivers, lousy independent musicians, American women who desperately try to look and act European. You know, coffee shop folk. But since we offer a nice lunch menu and have well above average decor, we also tend to import some wealthier customers from the suburbs: classic soccer moms, commuting nine-to-fivers, high school kids who are apparently bussed in six at a time and who come bearing their parents' crisp twenties and who invariably order smoothies. You know, people who have slightly more money than some other people.
There's your context; now let's get to the chagrin.
1. Unless you are lactose intolerant or a bona fide vegan, STOP ORDERING SOYMILK. In spite of what you may think, you're not any cooler after order it than you were before. Yeesh! It tastes lousy and you know it. So knock it off already.
2. Attention, people who come in for lunch: no, we do not take your order at your table, and no, that does NOT mean you shouldn't tip. You order at the counter, yes, but we still put your food together, arrange it nicely on a plate, bring it to your table, see if you need anything else, collect your dishes when you are done, and wash them. I'm not saying 18% is in order, but a measly 10% might be nice. What is it about ordering while standing up that makes you into a total cheapskate? Incidentally, as a manager I do not receive any of the tips; I just feel for the college kids busting their asses behind the counter who count on those few bucks to get them through the week.
3. One more thing on that. When there are fifteen of you coming in for lunch, all at the same time, at least one of you should leave at least a penny. That would be one cent more than the lunch party of fifteen left our servers this afternoon.
4. OK, maybe one more thing on that. This is not the entitled ranting of a coffeeshop snob. I don't fret when someone fails to toss a buck into the tip jar after I make a perfect latte. I appreciate it when people do this in recognition of the fact that I have rare espresso bar skills and that the drink I have just made is infinitely better than the ones you get at the gas station machine, but I understand that not everyone understands that. (But if you didn't understand it before, you do now, so you're on the hook. Either tip or stop ordering fancy drinks.) I'm far more concerned with people who think they get to stiff the help for an entire meal's worth of service just because they ordered it at a counter.
5. Spending forty dollars on a tube of lipstick does not make you a better person than the tattooed chick working on the other side of the counter. I know you feel inferior when you drive your '03 Lexus into the country club parking lot and park it next to brand new Beamers and Caddies, but try to leave that behind when you deign to interact with the common gutter blood working your local cafe. Skip the subtle smirk of disdain when you hear where our beans are roasted, and wipe that frown off your face when your six dollar an hour barista is doing her best to make your cappuccino "extra-dry, and NOT scorched." Because if I have to look at your dour face for one more minute, that dry cappuccino is going to be scorching your cosmetically and surgically altered face.
6. Contrary to what Starbucks would have you believe, a macchiato is not a sweet frothy beverage. If that's what you want, you will not like what you get.
7. Speaking of macchiato, please remember that ordering a drink is not a match of wits. If you come in and order something obscure just to test out if we know what you know, know this: we know. We know you're just a mean person who tries to make people feel dumb all day. So I hope you like your espresso lightly marked with foam, because I didn't work very hard to make sure the espresso was smooth and the foam was stiff. I just did the bare minimum so that you would know that I know what you know.
Hey, listen. The sizable majority of our customers are great people. I suppose it's easy to get bogged down by a few bad eggs, so I'm sorry about that. It's just that the bad eggs are more fun to write about.
Thursday, June 30, 2005
Sunday, June 26, 2005
"X & Y"
"X&Y" (Coldplay)
It's pretty good so far. I probably won't take the time to review it, but I will say that it sounded better on first listen than their last CD (A Rush of Blood to the Head) did. Very trancey, good chill-out music. I'm not one of those people who thinks Coldplay is the next big thing out of Britain, but I do like them a lot. (As I commented on Dan's blog, I am so over disliking bands because they're popular.) They've just got a good sound. Mostly this post was to test out ecto's "Link to Amazon.com" feature anyway.
A new dimension of wirelessness
On Friday, I ordered a printer online from circuitcity.com. I like ordering electronics there because I can pay for something online and then go pick it up at the store 10 minutes later, and they always give you whichever price is better, the store price or the online price, plus any rebates. I also like buying from Circuit City because they sell new release CDs at a loss-leader price, so I got the new Coldplay album for a scant $8.99. Furthermore, I like Circuit City because the guys over at the CompUSA in my town are jerks.
Anyway, the printer is nothing special, just an Epson CX4600. It's a simple print/copy/scan machine, which will come in handy and uses the same ink (and replacement kits) as a printer two of my friends have. But what I really love is that it is compatible with the Wireless Print Sharing feature of my AirPort Extreme base station.
So all weekend I have been looking for excuses to print something, anything, from as many different spots in my house as possible. Printing the new schedule for the cafe where I work...from my front porch? No problem. Printing notes for my presentation at church...from the, ahem, lavatory? Easy as pie! But mostly it's just nice to print from my boring old desk without having to unplug the laptop and any peripherals, tote it into the room where the printer is, plug it in, print it, unplug it, and go back to my desk. Ah, technology. Everything in life should be so seamless.
Anyway, the printer is nothing special, just an Epson CX4600. It's a simple print/copy/scan machine, which will come in handy and uses the same ink (and replacement kits) as a printer two of my friends have. But what I really love is that it is compatible with the Wireless Print Sharing feature of my AirPort Extreme base station.
So all weekend I have been looking for excuses to print something, anything, from as many different spots in my house as possible. Printing the new schedule for the cafe where I work...from my front porch? No problem. Printing notes for my presentation at church...from the, ahem, lavatory? Easy as pie! But mostly it's just nice to print from my boring old desk without having to unplug the laptop and any peripherals, tote it into the room where the printer is, plug it in, print it, unplug it, and go back to my desk. Ah, technology. Everything in life should be so seamless.
Emergent Convention Seminar: Urban Neomonasticism
This entry is the first in a series of reactions to content from the Nashville Emergent Convention, which I attended in mid-May with my colleagues from Artisan Church. In each of these entries, I'll post a link to the audio file of the seminar I'm discussing. I will then provide a written summary and response to the content of the seminar. This series of entries is part of an independent study I am doing for the final two credits of my M. Div. degree at Northeastern Seminary.
(A note to my regular readers: this entry will be longer than my usual posts, and you may very well find it more boring. You're most welcome to read it and comment on it, but I understand if you don't enjoy it. I promise I'll soon be back to slamming Microsoft, complaining about foolish people, and opining sarcastically about everyday life soon enough.)
Urban Neomonasticism
Rachelle Mee-Chapman, abbess of Monkfish Abbey in Seattle, WA
Relevant Links:
Monkfish Abbey
Rachelle's blog
Audio from Rachelle's presentation (18.4 MB. Server problems have prevented me from posting this yet, but I will put it up as soon as I can.)
Summary:
Rachelle Mee-Chapman is the cultivator of Monkfish Abbey, an urban neomonastic community in Seattle, WA. Monkfish began as a struggling church plant in the Association of Vineyard Churches. After a short while, Rachelle and her church became frustrated with the structure and nature of traditional church ministry, and they began to explore alternate ways of conceiving Christian community. She describes the result this way: “We finally realized, really the thing we’re the most like is a non-cloistered, non-celibate, fairly wealthy abbey.” The amount of good-natured laughter this characterization elicited was a clue about the nature of Monkfish Abbey, which Rachelle would describe in greater depth during the rest of the hour.
Monkfish Abbey exists in order to reach out to Seattle's "neo-pagan" community: the numerous residents of the progressive Pacific Northwest who either dabble in or actively participate in syncretic pagan spirituality: Wicca, eastern religion, metaphysics, etc. (For those who may be unfamiliar with this usage, I should point out that I am using the term "pagan" in a rather clinical way, essentially describing persons who do not profess one of the three monotheistic religious faiths. I know it's a loaded term, and I apologize for using it in passing like this. If you can, try to ignore the emotional response it may elicit. I think I am being fair to Rachelle's use of the term as well.) The methodology of the abbey is rooted in a foundational notion that is somewhat radical for a group of evangelicals: the idea that Christianity does not have a monopoly on legitimate spiritual practice, that people of other religions may have something to teach us Christians. And most of all, that we must have meaningful relationships with people of other faiths and belief sets if there is any hope of introducing the gospel of Christ into their lives.
Rachelle described this mission (such as it is—the term "mission" is not really a good fit for Monkfish) this way: "Stay connected to God as you know God, and stay connected to other people." The careful wording here is hard to miss. Obviously, many conservative Christians would have a hard time swallowing the phrase "God as you know God," which would seem to them to allow far too much flexibility about God's nature. Yet it is also hard to miss the emphasis on an ongoing relationship with God and a profound sense of community. This wording is broad enough to be acceptable to people who have been "burned" by the traditional church, but it is also broad enough to allow for more orthodox believers to blossom.
This theological double entendre is intentional. Rachelle revealed that she describes Monkfish in two different ways, depending upon who will hear the description. To Christians, Monkfish is an “uncloistered, neomonastic, incarnational community." A loaded and pregnant phrasing! To non-Christians, however, Rachelle describes Monkfish simply as a “spiritual growth community.”
So, what is the nature of life at Monkfish Abbey? Rachelle listed the following characteristics of monastic living at Monkfish:
1. A rhythm that promotes holistic health. Those at the abbey strongly believe that time is a non-renewable resource. It matters how and with whom you spend it. At Monkfish, this means they celebrate the high points on the Christian calendar: feasts, advent, lent, etc. But since the abbey seeks to be a place where the syncretic residents of Seattle can belong, they also celebrate certain days on the neo-pagan seasonal calendar: equinoxes, solstices and the like. Where celebrating these days does not require an overt repudiation of the Christian faith, Monkfish will celebrate them. (Of course, many would want to argue about when that line of repudiation is crossed.)
2. Blended living. Religious life is about more than just Sundays and Wednesdays. At Monkfish the lines between play and conversation and prayer are blurry—on purpose. They hold huge themed birthday parties; they fund vacations to India where their vacationing members will live with native Indians and seek to share their faith as they share meals; they participate actively in the city and its events.
3. Multiple levels (various ways) of belonging. At Monkfish, belonging is far from an "all or nothing" proposition. Some people are neighbors, seen only in passing; some are regular party-goers who attend community events but not religious celebration; some are monks who live in proximity to each other and contribute to the life of the abbey; and some are "intentional neighboring apostles" (monks at other abbeys). Regardless of which category a person is in, he or she is welcomed as part of what the abbey is doing, exactly to the extent that it is comfortable and on some level meaningful.
4. Strong sense of place. Rachelle and her husband own a house in the city and are the “anchorites” of the community. Many of the events in the life of the abbey take place at their home. Yet the community truly extends to the entire city: everyone involved knows you must love Seattle. Pilgrims from afar visit and stay with them when they travel. And all monastic service grows out of this sense of place: schools, parades, charities, artists, festivals, etc. To be part of Monkfish necessarily means to be a part of Seattle.
Monkfish Abbey is organized not around mission, doctrine, or a charismatic leader. Instead, it is organized around a simple rule. (Rachelle joked that Monkfish's rule is certainly not "chastity, obedience and poverty.") Monkfish's rule, which they call a "trellis," derived from the same Latin root, is a set of practices:
1. Presence. Designed as a counter-measure against "the new consumerism, which is one of consuming experiences," the rule of practice requires slowing down. They accomplish this slowing down in several ways: by Sabbath keeping (some sort of rest taken in the week), contemplative prayer, meditation of various sorts, and lectio divina. (Lectio divina is the only way the community uses scripture. For more on this practice of prayerful scripture reading, click here. I don't have the space to explain it right now.)
2. "Ordinary attempts." (This term is borrowed from off-the-map.org.) Rachelle called this "evangelism for the rest of us." It means simply noticing others and being nice and offering a listening ear or a helping hand. This helps avoid the propensity in the modern evangelical church to see one's friends as objects that must be "obtained" for God.
3. Hospitality. Rachelle's home is open all the time, except on Wednesday nights and Sundays all day—these are family times. The “steeple” of this "church" is the vegetable garden in the front yard, where Rachelle can be found working each day between 4-6 p.m., when people are walking home from school and work. There is a string of party lights around the front yard, where meetings are held in summertime, and a swing hanging from the tree. This space and its amenities are offered to everyone in the neighborhood, regardless of their religious affiliation or lack thereof.
4. Generosity. Those in the abbey make a point of extending caregiving to neighbors and friends, regardless of whether or not they are part of the church.
5. Camaraderie. Rachelle prefers this term to "community." Life together in Christ, she argues, must be more than community as we commonly understand it. What's more, it must be more functional (read: less dysfunctional) than what many of us understand to be “family.” This means the abbey is held together by friendships, embracing the lonely, and simple enjoyment of each other: celebrating common milestones such as birthdays, new jobs, deaths, etc.
In my mind the profound beauty of Monkfish Abbey and its intentions can be summarized by this image that Rachelle used toward the end of her talk: she said that she wants Monkfish to breathe on the "God-active spots" in people’s life as if they were embers, ready to burn hot but needing a little well-placed burst of oxygen. This image is so freeing and powerful, respectful of people and where they are with God but acknowledging that God needs to burn more brightly in all of us.
* * * * * * *
Well, I was shooting for around 1,000 words, and I'm well over 1,500 now. There is much more I could write, but I must stop for now. I really would like to interact with anyone who's made it this far, so feel free to leave comments or questions, which I will do my best to answer. I will be sending this link to Rachelle as well, and I'd be honored if she'd contribute, even if it's only to clarify something I may have botched.
(A note to my regular readers: this entry will be longer than my usual posts, and you may very well find it more boring. You're most welcome to read it and comment on it, but I understand if you don't enjoy it. I promise I'll soon be back to slamming Microsoft, complaining about foolish people, and opining sarcastically about everyday life soon enough.)
Urban Neomonasticism
Rachelle Mee-Chapman, abbess of Monkfish Abbey in Seattle, WA
Relevant Links:
Monkfish Abbey
Rachelle's blog
Audio from Rachelle's presentation (18.4 MB. Server problems have prevented me from posting this yet, but I will put it up as soon as I can.)
Summary:
Rachelle Mee-Chapman is the cultivator of Monkfish Abbey, an urban neomonastic community in Seattle, WA. Monkfish began as a struggling church plant in the Association of Vineyard Churches. After a short while, Rachelle and her church became frustrated with the structure and nature of traditional church ministry, and they began to explore alternate ways of conceiving Christian community. She describes the result this way: “We finally realized, really the thing we’re the most like is a non-cloistered, non-celibate, fairly wealthy abbey.” The amount of good-natured laughter this characterization elicited was a clue about the nature of Monkfish Abbey, which Rachelle would describe in greater depth during the rest of the hour.
Monkfish Abbey exists in order to reach out to Seattle's "neo-pagan" community: the numerous residents of the progressive Pacific Northwest who either dabble in or actively participate in syncretic pagan spirituality: Wicca, eastern religion, metaphysics, etc. (For those who may be unfamiliar with this usage, I should point out that I am using the term "pagan" in a rather clinical way, essentially describing persons who do not profess one of the three monotheistic religious faiths. I know it's a loaded term, and I apologize for using it in passing like this. If you can, try to ignore the emotional response it may elicit. I think I am being fair to Rachelle's use of the term as well.) The methodology of the abbey is rooted in a foundational notion that is somewhat radical for a group of evangelicals: the idea that Christianity does not have a monopoly on legitimate spiritual practice, that people of other religions may have something to teach us Christians. And most of all, that we must have meaningful relationships with people of other faiths and belief sets if there is any hope of introducing the gospel of Christ into their lives.
Rachelle described this mission (such as it is—the term "mission" is not really a good fit for Monkfish) this way: "Stay connected to God as you know God, and stay connected to other people." The careful wording here is hard to miss. Obviously, many conservative Christians would have a hard time swallowing the phrase "God as you know God," which would seem to them to allow far too much flexibility about God's nature. Yet it is also hard to miss the emphasis on an ongoing relationship with God and a profound sense of community. This wording is broad enough to be acceptable to people who have been "burned" by the traditional church, but it is also broad enough to allow for more orthodox believers to blossom.
This theological double entendre is intentional. Rachelle revealed that she describes Monkfish in two different ways, depending upon who will hear the description. To Christians, Monkfish is an “uncloistered, neomonastic, incarnational community." A loaded and pregnant phrasing! To non-Christians, however, Rachelle describes Monkfish simply as a “spiritual growth community.”
So, what is the nature of life at Monkfish Abbey? Rachelle listed the following characteristics of monastic living at Monkfish:
1. A rhythm that promotes holistic health. Those at the abbey strongly believe that time is a non-renewable resource. It matters how and with whom you spend it. At Monkfish, this means they celebrate the high points on the Christian calendar: feasts, advent, lent, etc. But since the abbey seeks to be a place where the syncretic residents of Seattle can belong, they also celebrate certain days on the neo-pagan seasonal calendar: equinoxes, solstices and the like. Where celebrating these days does not require an overt repudiation of the Christian faith, Monkfish will celebrate them. (Of course, many would want to argue about when that line of repudiation is crossed.)
2. Blended living. Religious life is about more than just Sundays and Wednesdays. At Monkfish the lines between play and conversation and prayer are blurry—on purpose. They hold huge themed birthday parties; they fund vacations to India where their vacationing members will live with native Indians and seek to share their faith as they share meals; they participate actively in the city and its events.
3. Multiple levels (various ways) of belonging. At Monkfish, belonging is far from an "all or nothing" proposition. Some people are neighbors, seen only in passing; some are regular party-goers who attend community events but not religious celebration; some are monks who live in proximity to each other and contribute to the life of the abbey; and some are "intentional neighboring apostles" (monks at other abbeys). Regardless of which category a person is in, he or she is welcomed as part of what the abbey is doing, exactly to the extent that it is comfortable and on some level meaningful.
4. Strong sense of place. Rachelle and her husband own a house in the city and are the “anchorites” of the community. Many of the events in the life of the abbey take place at their home. Yet the community truly extends to the entire city: everyone involved knows you must love Seattle. Pilgrims from afar visit and stay with them when they travel. And all monastic service grows out of this sense of place: schools, parades, charities, artists, festivals, etc. To be part of Monkfish necessarily means to be a part of Seattle.
Monkfish Abbey is organized not around mission, doctrine, or a charismatic leader. Instead, it is organized around a simple rule. (Rachelle joked that Monkfish's rule is certainly not "chastity, obedience and poverty.") Monkfish's rule, which they call a "trellis," derived from the same Latin root, is a set of practices:
1. Presence. Designed as a counter-measure against "the new consumerism, which is one of consuming experiences," the rule of practice requires slowing down. They accomplish this slowing down in several ways: by Sabbath keeping (some sort of rest taken in the week), contemplative prayer, meditation of various sorts, and lectio divina. (Lectio divina is the only way the community uses scripture. For more on this practice of prayerful scripture reading, click here. I don't have the space to explain it right now.)
2. "Ordinary attempts." (This term is borrowed from off-the-map.org.) Rachelle called this "evangelism for the rest of us." It means simply noticing others and being nice and offering a listening ear or a helping hand. This helps avoid the propensity in the modern evangelical church to see one's friends as objects that must be "obtained" for God.
3. Hospitality. Rachelle's home is open all the time, except on Wednesday nights and Sundays all day—these are family times. The “steeple” of this "church" is the vegetable garden in the front yard, where Rachelle can be found working each day between 4-6 p.m., when people are walking home from school and work. There is a string of party lights around the front yard, where meetings are held in summertime, and a swing hanging from the tree. This space and its amenities are offered to everyone in the neighborhood, regardless of their religious affiliation or lack thereof.
4. Generosity. Those in the abbey make a point of extending caregiving to neighbors and friends, regardless of whether or not they are part of the church.
5. Camaraderie. Rachelle prefers this term to "community." Life together in Christ, she argues, must be more than community as we commonly understand it. What's more, it must be more functional (read: less dysfunctional) than what many of us understand to be “family.” This means the abbey is held together by friendships, embracing the lonely, and simple enjoyment of each other: celebrating common milestones such as birthdays, new jobs, deaths, etc.
In my mind the profound beauty of Monkfish Abbey and its intentions can be summarized by this image that Rachelle used toward the end of her talk: she said that she wants Monkfish to breathe on the "God-active spots" in people’s life as if they were embers, ready to burn hot but needing a little well-placed burst of oxygen. This image is so freeing and powerful, respectful of people and where they are with God but acknowledging that God needs to burn more brightly in all of us.
* * * * * * *
Well, I was shooting for around 1,000 words, and I'm well over 1,500 now. There is much more I could write, but I must stop for now. I really would like to interact with anyone who's made it this far, so feel free to leave comments or questions, which I will do my best to answer. I will be sending this link to Rachelle as well, and I'd be honored if she'd contribute, even if it's only to clarify something I may have botched.
Thursday, June 23, 2005
My encounter with a deadly desert rattler
It was a fine afternoon in Las Vegas, bright and sunny—like nearly every afternoon in Las Vegas. I had been living in the city for about a year and a half, so I was nonplussed by the gorgeous day. But I was enjoying it nonetheless. This particular bright sunny afternoon, I was walking down to the rental office to pick up a package from UPS. Always a happy occasion when you live 2,600 miles from home.
I don't know why, but I started daydreaming about snakes. Poisonous rattlesnakes. Venomous creatures were pretty much the number one concern I had when I was contemplating moving to Las Vegas. (For some reason, I didn't think to be concerned about having my limbs baked to a crisp in the ridiculous desert heat. A little tip for you: "dry heat" is still "hot heat." And with the copious amounts of water the in-ground sprinklers spray into the air, it wasn't even that dry.)
Anyway, snakes. So far, I hadn't seen one, and I started to think, what would I do if I ever did see one? I hiked a lot in Red Rock Canyon in those days. What would I do if I was walking along a quiet trail and came on a coiled snake? I went over my mental list of how to respond: slow movements, back away or give it a wide berth, do not disturb it; it's not aggressive unless it feels threatened. But what about if I saw one on the grounds of the apartment complex? Such a thing was not unheard of; in fact, it was fairly common. I might come across one under a window, sunning itself against the warm stucco. Or perhaps I'd see one keeping warm next to the hot air pouring out of the air conditioning units. I'd probably have to call the manager's office and keep an eye on it until they came by to capture it and tote it off into the hills of the desert.
I had been going on like this for two or three minutes as I walked through the complex to the office, when suddenly, I heard a sickening rattle-hiss coming from the ground next to my right foot, which was just about to land on the sidewalk: FFFFFLLLLTTTTTTSSSSSSSSSSS! Holy crap! Rattler! Without even thinking, I shifted my weight to my left foot and jumped as far as I could to the left. (About three feet.) My heart throbbing in my chest, my brain fearing I had startled the snake, and my ankle expecting to feel the hot fangs sinking into it, I turned to look at the rattler, which might very well be the last living thing I ever laid eyes on.
It was a plastic sprinkler head that had just come on, first blowing the extra air out of the line and then spraying a fine mist of water over the emerald green lawn. The peacefulness of the scene was jarring to me. I casually looked around to see if anyone had seen my meltdown. The coast was clear. Readjusting my sunglasses, which were now sideways on my face, I continued to the office and picked up my package. My hands were still trembling.
I don't know why, but I started daydreaming about snakes. Poisonous rattlesnakes. Venomous creatures were pretty much the number one concern I had when I was contemplating moving to Las Vegas. (For some reason, I didn't think to be concerned about having my limbs baked to a crisp in the ridiculous desert heat. A little tip for you: "dry heat" is still "hot heat." And with the copious amounts of water the in-ground sprinklers spray into the air, it wasn't even that dry.)
Anyway, snakes. So far, I hadn't seen one, and I started to think, what would I do if I ever did see one? I hiked a lot in Red Rock Canyon in those days. What would I do if I was walking along a quiet trail and came on a coiled snake? I went over my mental list of how to respond: slow movements, back away or give it a wide berth, do not disturb it; it's not aggressive unless it feels threatened. But what about if I saw one on the grounds of the apartment complex? Such a thing was not unheard of; in fact, it was fairly common. I might come across one under a window, sunning itself against the warm stucco. Or perhaps I'd see one keeping warm next to the hot air pouring out of the air conditioning units. I'd probably have to call the manager's office and keep an eye on it until they came by to capture it and tote it off into the hills of the desert.
I had been going on like this for two or three minutes as I walked through the complex to the office, when suddenly, I heard a sickening rattle-hiss coming from the ground next to my right foot, which was just about to land on the sidewalk: FFFFFLLLLTTTTTTSSSSSSSSSSS! Holy crap! Rattler! Without even thinking, I shifted my weight to my left foot and jumped as far as I could to the left. (About three feet.) My heart throbbing in my chest, my brain fearing I had startled the snake, and my ankle expecting to feel the hot fangs sinking into it, I turned to look at the rattler, which might very well be the last living thing I ever laid eyes on.
It was a plastic sprinkler head that had just come on, first blowing the extra air out of the line and then spraying a fine mist of water over the emerald green lawn. The peacefulness of the scene was jarring to me. I casually looked around to see if anyone had seen my meltdown. The coast was clear. Readjusting my sunglasses, which were now sideways on my face, I continued to the office and picked up my package. My hands were still trembling.
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
Getting readers any way I can...
Not so long ago, I installed StatCounter in my blog template to keep an eye on how many visits I get and were people are finding links to my blog. This has always been interesting to me with every website I've been associated with. For example, I was always fascinated that people found the now-defunct (but still-funny) Holy Observer by Google searching "www.holyobserver.com." Really? You just searched for a URL instead of typing it into your browser's address bar, huh? Interesting. People search for the oddest things.
Which brings me to my point. I've had several hits lately from people searching for "Jake Abel." Since I used to have a hound dog named Jake and our son is named Abel, my blog ends up in the results of that search. While I'm happy for the extra readership, I'm pretty sure people searching for Jake Abel, the latest teenaged non-star by-product of live action Disney Channel nonsense, will be disappointed with my stories about sad trips to Lollypop Farm and cute knit hats.
Just thought you'd like to know you're in some pretty strange company.
Which brings me to my point. I've had several hits lately from people searching for "Jake Abel." Since I used to have a hound dog named Jake and our son is named Abel, my blog ends up in the results of that search. While I'm happy for the extra readership, I'm pretty sure people searching for Jake Abel, the latest teenaged non-star by-product of live action Disney Channel nonsense, will be disappointed with my stories about sad trips to Lollypop Farm and cute knit hats.
Just thought you'd like to know you're in some pretty strange company.
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
Health update on Tedy Bruschi
Here's a few words of update on the player with the best football name ever (remember, it's pronounced "Teddy Brewski"). From ESPN.com:
"ESPN's Sal Paolantonio reported Thursday that, according to two sources who have reviewed Bruschi's most recent medical reports, the linebacker has been cleared to work out but not to practice or play football. Those advising Bruschi privately -- including team owner Bob Kraft -- are hoping he thinks seriously about sitting out the 2005 season, although everyone around him says Bruschi is at least a month away from making a final decision."You may remember that Bruschi had a stroke last winter, so this is pretty solid recovery. He may never play another down in the NFL, but I admire his resiliency. And his attitude. I last wrote about Tedy Bruschi after the Pats had killed the Colts (again) and still weren't getting respect. You can read that post here.
Monday, June 13, 2005
Best of Postus Frequentus
I've adapted the sidebar (on the left) a bit. I added some links (both traditional sites and blogs) last week, and today I added a "Best of" section. It contains a few of my favorite entries from the first several months of my blog. If you're new to P.F., I think they're probably worth your time.
Note: I was the sole judge of bestness, which I realize is gratuitous. The whole idea of having a "best of" sections is also gratuitous. Oh well. If you like me enough to have a favorite entry that you don't see in the "Best of P.F." section, let me know, and I'll consider adding it.
Note: I was the sole judge of bestness, which I realize is gratuitous. The whole idea of having a "best of" sections is also gratuitous. Oh well. If you like me enough to have a favorite entry that you don't see in the "Best of P.F." section, let me know, and I'll consider adding it.
Gaps in my blog production
I haven't posted in about a week. I've been busy preparing a sermon and some music for last night's service at Artisan Church (find the link in the sidebar). I may post a summary of that sermon soon. It was a talk on understanding God's will using jazz music and improvisation as a metaphor. Perhaps I'll link to the audio when it's posted.
Over the next couple weeks, it is likely that I'll be posting a few longer entries and few or zero short entries, as my blog will temporarily become a center of academic production. As part of an independent study (my last seminary course), I'll be writing 1000-word summaries of several seminars from the Emergent Convention. These entries will include links to the audio, a summary of the presentation, and my response to the content. I hope it will be interesting to you as well as being helpful to me in completing my last two credits for my M. Div.
By the way, you can get an early listen to some of the audio at my website: http://www.sjaustin.com/emergent.html
Over the next couple weeks, it is likely that I'll be posting a few longer entries and few or zero short entries, as my blog will temporarily become a center of academic production. As part of an independent study (my last seminary course), I'll be writing 1000-word summaries of several seminars from the Emergent Convention. These entries will include links to the audio, a summary of the presentation, and my response to the content. I hope it will be interesting to you as well as being helpful to me in completing my last two credits for my M. Div.
By the way, you can get an early listen to some of the audio at my website: http://www.sjaustin.com/emergent.html
Saturday, June 04, 2005
Apple makes its own switch
After weeks of speculation, it appears that hell has finally frozen over:
All I can say is I am looking forward to the keynote at WWDC with great anticipation.
"[CNet] said that Apple plans to move lower-end computers like the Mac Mini to Intel chips in mid-2006 and higher-end models such as the Power Mac in the middle of 2007, Cnet said, citing anonymous sources."I have no idea what this will ultimately mean for Apple, but it seems a bit ominous to me. Back when this was still strictly speculation, John Gruber made the case that this move would be insane for Apple because "all existing Mac OS X software would need to be recompiled for an Intel processor architecture." That would be bad news for software developers, and probably for Apple itself. I quote Gruber again: Who’s going to spend $3000 for a deprecated CPU architecture [once the announcement of the switch has been made]?"
All I can say is I am looking forward to the keynote at WWDC with great anticipation.
Friday, June 03, 2005
Blogging using ecto
I'm composing this blog entry offline (or as Corky St. Clair might say, "off-off-off offline") using an application called ecto. (Lack of capitalization is their idea, not mine.) So far, it seems like a handy little thing. It allows me, obviously, to compose offline, but I like it even more for other reasons.
For one thing, I use a browser (Safari) that is incompatible with Blogger's toolbar formatting buttons, which means I have to hand-code all my italics, bolds, and links. This is not hard, but it is time-consuming and rather annoying. (It's almost, but not quite, enough to make be switch to Firefox.) With ecto, I can add formatting with simple buttons or standard keyboard shortcuts.
Also, ecto supposedly allows me to import photos from iPhoto. I haven't gotten it to work just yet, but if it does work, that would be a big help too. Flickr is a good service, but I would rather be able to use photos right in the compose interface. [Update: I just read the ecto documentation, and their iPhoto feature doesn't work with Blogger. Oh well. It's still a useful utility. But I might not pay $18 for it when the trial expires now.]
I guess I'll publish this now to test it out.
For one thing, I use a browser (Safari) that is incompatible with Blogger's toolbar formatting buttons, which means I have to hand-code all my italics, bolds, and links. This is not hard, but it is time-consuming and rather annoying. (It's almost, but not quite, enough to make be switch to Firefox.) With ecto, I can add formatting with simple buttons or standard keyboard shortcuts.
Also, ecto supposedly allows me to import photos from iPhoto. I haven't gotten it to work just yet, but if it does work, that would be a big help too. Flickr is a good service, but I would rather be able to use photos right in the compose interface. [Update: I just read the ecto documentation, and their iPhoto feature doesn't work with Blogger. Oh well. It's still a useful utility. But I might not pay $18 for it when the trial expires now.]
I guess I'll publish this now to test it out.
Thursday, June 02, 2005
Fun with real estate
We recently had an e-mail inquiry from two women who were interested in renting the new house we're buying. Everything started off simply enough, but when I mentioned the fact that we'd want a larger security deposit for their pets, things got a little snippy. Here's part of the exchange for your enjoyment, complete with the answers I would have preferred to give, if I weren't such a nice, professional landlord. Of course, all names of people and places have been changed in order to protect the innocent. That would be me.
After an initial exchange of information, we take up the conversation here:
Thanks for writing back. We are almost 100% sure this is the house we want to rent, so when the deal is closed, please call us first - we could give you a deposit for July upon seeing the house. We do have two dogs, I think I mentioned that in the first email (also, we have a female spayed declawed 10 year old cat). Just wanted to make sure you knew everything!
Thanks again and we look forward to hearing from you!
Sally and Alice
My kind, professional response:
I'll be sure to call you as soon as the deal closes. FYI: We'll probably want a larger deposit considering the pets, but I'm not sure how much just yet. I know some places require an extra month's rent, but I'll consult my real estate advisor and let you know. In any case, they sound like great animals, and we love both dogs and cats.
Talk to you soon!
Scott
This did not go over well:
We really aren't interested in renting a place that considers our animals a liability. An extra security deposit is a little overkill I think, for a lab, a lab mix, and a cat. We pride ourselves in our responsibility to these animals, and they are more than children to us.
They are both great dogs.
The neighborhood is really not what we are looking for, but for the price, we would be willing to do it until we buy a house (probably 2 years or so). But we could certainly find something else in a better area that wouldn't ask for a double security.
Think about it, and if you still want to show us the place, we'd be glad to come and look.
We really just don't want to deal with a landlord that is worried about our kids, or us. We want a hassle-free living environment.
Sally and Alice
I wish I could have said this...
Dear Sally and Alice,
I didn't realize you had kids! That's a different story. Oh...wait. I see now. When you say "kids," you mean not "human children" but "domesticated animals." Hmm. Yeah...that's gonna cost ya.
No, I will not think about renting to you for even one more second. Anyone who refers to her pets as "more than children" obviously lacks the perspective I require in my tenants. I want a nutcase-free living environment.
Scott
...but what I really said was this:
I'm sorry if I offended you. I'm sure your dogs and cat are great, and I have no doubt you and Alice are responsible people.
I've had many dogs in my lifetime, and I loved them all, but every single one of them was sick at one time or another and stained a carpet or made some other mess. This happens even to the best-behaved animals. It is one price animal lovers happily pay for the companionship and love that comes along with it.
Landlords have a range of policies when it comes to pets. Some do require an extra month's rent; others have a per-animal fee ranging from $50 to $150 depending on breed, size, and disposition; others require a monthly "pet rent." We still haven't decided what our policy will be, but for two medium to large dogs and one cat, it would probably be close to a month's rent.
As you look for a place to live, I would caution you against any landlord who requires no extra security deposit, even for great animals like yours. This may seem hassle-free on the surface, but it is almost always a sign of a landlord who isn't making wise decisions about his or her property, and that will eventually impact your quality of life while you live there. Just something to think about.
I wish you all the best as you search for the perfect place to live.
Sincerely,
Scott
I thought this would be the last word, but she couldn't resist responding to my gentle jab with a few wild haymakers of her own:
I've lived in a few rentals with my dogs that were in the nicest part of town in beautifully maintained properties with no hassels [sic]. My mother took a drive by the rental house anyway and said it was in a horrible neighborhood and the two houses next door were in terrible shape and we can't live there anyway. Plus, I just bought a new Passat and wouldn't park it outside there!
Thanks for the advice though, but I'd never pay a double security for my kids. If they did anything, I would be the one replacing carpet etc.
I reaaally want to reply to this one like this...
Wow, a Passat! You must be very wealthy indeed. No wonder the art gallery district is too bourgeois for you! Maybe you should stay in your beautifully managed property after all. I certainly wouldn't want you to disobey your mother.
The other two houses on the street are in need of some repair. One is owned by an elderly man who isn't able to give it the attention it deserves. The other one is a bit of a dump, I think because the owners have two large dogs that kinda tear the place apart. A real shame...
I'm with you, though: I would never pay a double security deposit for my kids either. Then again, my kid is actually a kid. At this point I can only assume you mean baby goats.
I like your idea about replacing the carpet, though. Hey, I have an idea: why don't you just pay for it in advance, and then if nothing happens, I'll give the money back to you when you move out? Deal?
Scott
...but instead, I just decided to let her have the last word.
So I could belittle her anonymously on my blog! Yeah!
After an initial exchange of information, we take up the conversation here:
Thanks for writing back. We are almost 100% sure this is the house we want to rent, so when the deal is closed, please call us first - we could give you a deposit for July upon seeing the house. We do have two dogs, I think I mentioned that in the first email (also, we have a female spayed declawed 10 year old cat). Just wanted to make sure you knew everything!
Thanks again and we look forward to hearing from you!
Sally and Alice
My kind, professional response:
I'll be sure to call you as soon as the deal closes. FYI: We'll probably want a larger deposit considering the pets, but I'm not sure how much just yet. I know some places require an extra month's rent, but I'll consult my real estate advisor and let you know. In any case, they sound like great animals, and we love both dogs and cats.
Talk to you soon!
Scott
This did not go over well:
We really aren't interested in renting a place that considers our animals a liability. An extra security deposit is a little overkill I think, for a lab, a lab mix, and a cat. We pride ourselves in our responsibility to these animals, and they are more than children to us.
They are both great dogs.
The neighborhood is really not what we are looking for, but for the price, we would be willing to do it until we buy a house (probably 2 years or so). But we could certainly find something else in a better area that wouldn't ask for a double security.
Think about it, and if you still want to show us the place, we'd be glad to come and look.
We really just don't want to deal with a landlord that is worried about our kids, or us. We want a hassle-free living environment.
Sally and Alice
I wish I could have said this...
Dear Sally and Alice,
I didn't realize you had kids! That's a different story. Oh...wait. I see now. When you say "kids," you mean not "human children" but "domesticated animals." Hmm. Yeah...that's gonna cost ya.
No, I will not think about renting to you for even one more second. Anyone who refers to her pets as "more than children" obviously lacks the perspective I require in my tenants. I want a nutcase-free living environment.
Scott
...but what I really said was this:
I'm sorry if I offended you. I'm sure your dogs and cat are great, and I have no doubt you and Alice are responsible people.
I've had many dogs in my lifetime, and I loved them all, but every single one of them was sick at one time or another and stained a carpet or made some other mess. This happens even to the best-behaved animals. It is one price animal lovers happily pay for the companionship and love that comes along with it.
Landlords have a range of policies when it comes to pets. Some do require an extra month's rent; others have a per-animal fee ranging from $50 to $150 depending on breed, size, and disposition; others require a monthly "pet rent." We still haven't decided what our policy will be, but for two medium to large dogs and one cat, it would probably be close to a month's rent.
As you look for a place to live, I would caution you against any landlord who requires no extra security deposit, even for great animals like yours. This may seem hassle-free on the surface, but it is almost always a sign of a landlord who isn't making wise decisions about his or her property, and that will eventually impact your quality of life while you live there. Just something to think about.
I wish you all the best as you search for the perfect place to live.
Sincerely,
Scott
I thought this would be the last word, but she couldn't resist responding to my gentle jab with a few wild haymakers of her own:
I've lived in a few rentals with my dogs that were in the nicest part of town in beautifully maintained properties with no hassels [sic]. My mother took a drive by the rental house anyway and said it was in a horrible neighborhood and the two houses next door were in terrible shape and we can't live there anyway. Plus, I just bought a new Passat and wouldn't park it outside there!
Thanks for the advice though, but I'd never pay a double security for my kids. If they did anything, I would be the one replacing carpet etc.
I reaaally want to reply to this one like this...
Wow, a Passat! You must be very wealthy indeed. No wonder the art gallery district is too bourgeois for you! Maybe you should stay in your beautifully managed property after all. I certainly wouldn't want you to disobey your mother.
The other two houses on the street are in need of some repair. One is owned by an elderly man who isn't able to give it the attention it deserves. The other one is a bit of a dump, I think because the owners have two large dogs that kinda tear the place apart. A real shame...
I'm with you, though: I would never pay a double security deposit for my kids either. Then again, my kid is actually a kid. At this point I can only assume you mean baby goats.
I like your idea about replacing the carpet, though. Hey, I have an idea: why don't you just pay for it in advance, and then if nothing happens, I'll give the money back to you when you move out? Deal?
Scott
...but instead, I just decided to let her have the last word.
So I could belittle her anonymously on my blog! Yeah!
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
Steyn's review of Star Wars III, er, um, VI, uh, no wait, it's III
Mark Steyn, who is at his best when he's spewing disdain, did not like Revenge of the Sith, as his review makes clear. For one thing, he's not fond of George Lucas as a director:
I haven't seen the film yet, to be fair. I was too bored by Episode I to be willing to bother with II or III yet. Mostly I'm annoyed that it took so long for the original trilogy to become available on DVD, and when it finally did, they were plastered with "Episode IV (or V, or VI)." Can't we just pretend the prequels never happened? From what I've seen and read, they were better left to the imagination anyway.
"Lucas characters always have to spell out what they're thinking and feeling because he's incapable of showing it. You can't make the core of the story the absolute overpowering love of boy for girl when the two of them have all the sexual chemistry of their Burger King merchandising tie-in action figures. Lucas is truly one of the all-time worst directors of actors, and I include the teacher who put together the school production of Fiddler on the Roof I saw last week and got a more touching love scene out of a couple of 11-year-olds as the middle-aged Tevye and Golde than anything Christensen and Portman manage here. Presumably actors say yes to Lucas because they figure Star Wars will do for them what it did for Harrison Ford. Instead, Lucas turns everyone he touches into Mark Hamill."Read the whole review for more great anti-Lucas spouting, including a funny dismissal of the anti-Bush subtext and plenty of lispy, pithy puns based on the unintentionally funny word "Sith."
I haven't seen the film yet, to be fair. I was too bored by Episode I to be willing to bother with II or III yet. Mostly I'm annoyed that it took so long for the original trilogy to become available on DVD, and when it finally did, they were plastered with "Episode IV (or V, or VI)." Can't we just pretend the prequels never happened? From what I've seen and read, they were better left to the imagination anyway.
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